Bound: Reflection by Cynthia Dane & Hildred Billings

Author:Cynthia Dane & Hildred Billings [Dane, Cynthia & Billings, Hildred]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: romance, series
Publisher: Barachou Press
Published: 2018-04-16T23:00:00+00:00

Chapter 19

It doesn’t matter how much you want her, or how excited you are to have her all to yourself, naked, writhing, eager to have you as much as you are to have her. As soon as she touches a part of your body that you’re not accustomed to having acknowledged? You befoul the sensual mood you two established only a few minutes before.

“You’re not the only one who gets to grope, right?” Natalie whispered that with such heavy flirtations that I almost shut her up with another kiss. Too bad my anxiety from having her reach up my shirt and touch my breast overwhelmed me. No, no, no… I kept thinking that every time I powered through the arousing thrill of having her stimulate one of my most erogenous places. You’re not supposed to know that secret…

I let out a heavy breath that had nothing to do with coming up for air. The buttons to my blouse were undone, but I didn’t care. I pulled back, sweating.

“What’s wrong?”

I meditated my breaths back to manageable levels. “Nothing. Everything.”

Natalie’s hesitation concerned me at first. What I didn’t know was that she plotted a way to alleviate the anxiety on my mind.

When her dress straps came down her arms and the bust of her dress revealed her generous pushup bra, I could hardly contain my surprise. “Does this help?”

“I need you to understand something, Natalie,” I said, eager to jump her, but aware of my own emotional limitations. “Before we possibly continue.”

There she was, half naked and losing the smile on her sweet visage. “What is it?”

What to say? How to say it? What was so evident in my mind didn’t necessarily translate to my mouth. “I’ve never had sex like this with a woman.”

“But…”

I knew what she meant. The escorts. Didn’t I openly sleep with them in my female dress? “That I didn’t have to buy.”

“What about Brooke?”

Why didn’t she slam me in the stomach with a sledgehammer while she was it? “We didn’t really…” Yeah, right. Brooke and me. Like this. “It took her a long time to come around after I finally told her. She looked at me like you did. Like I was a totally different person.” The night I took off my binder and allowed my fiancée to see my body is one I will never, ever forget. The shock. The horror. The shame. Brooke couldn’t control it. That was how she honestly felt. To this day, I blame myself. To think of all the years of her life I wasted… “She had never been with a woman before, and suddenly I was asking her to be someone she wasn’t. She went from being straight to bisexual, and like I didn’t have a choice in the matter, neither did she.”

We had argued about it more than once. Brooke would calmly explain her position, and by the end, we both had tears in our eyes. She started seeing a therapist without me, and a relationship counselor with me. I should have seen it coming.

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